MEOW

My son came home from college Easter weekend after an absence of several weeks.  I felt like we had a ton of news and tidbits to catch up on, so I took him to eat Chinese at his favorite restaurant, knowing that was a sure fire way to get an extended conversation going with the boy.  After we got the basics out of the way (the cat misses you so much she isn't eating, you wouldn't believe the crazies I dealt with this week, next year I'm certain your robotics team will take the competition), I went for his jugular.  "Ethan, did you know that Kim Kardashian is dating Kanye West?"  His expression said "WTF?", but he politely declined to comment.  I continued..."Can you just imagine it, Ethan?  Their first fight will be over who is prettiest!  There will be more mirrors in their house than there is beer at an ECU frat party!"  He laughed and we went on to other more "Ethan like" topics.  (I did learn that his favorite Beatles song is "A Day in the Life", but I digress)

But seriously, Kim K. is hardly the only flaky female celeb out there.  The most obvious to me is Jennifer Lopez.  Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer.  I have followed your career for at least the past decade.  I confess to even having a bit of a female crush on you when I first saw your Vanity Fair cover of several years back.  You are one smoking babe.  But girlfriend, you need to live your life for five minutes WITHOUT A MAN.  Talk about always having one in your back pocket!  I guess that's why you need that famous ass!  The news of your split with Marc Anthony had barely hit the press when you were off gallivanting with Casper, a 24 year old dancer.  24 YEARS OLD.  Do what you want sister, but my son has friends older than that.  Casper turned 25 last week and you celebrated dating a bit older man by gifting him with a custom designed pick-up truck.  Sweeeeeeet!  I'm thinking Casper is digging this gig.  It would not surprise me if you took another walk down the aisle, but hon, let's hold off a bit.  Slow down, take a deep breath, smell the roses and enjoy your children.  Romping with Casper can wait a few months, if not years.  Take some Jennifer time.  Trust me.  Besides, do you REALLY want to go through all that wedding registry mess again?

While I am a bit co-dependent when it comes to J. Lo, I harbor no sympathy for that little hussy LeAnn Rimes.  I mean, really.  She meets what she considers to be a hunka hunka burnin' love on a movie set, they have a torrid affair and leave their respective spouses.  Poor little Dean Sheramot didn't know what hit him.  Her paramour, Eddie Cibrian's ex, can hold her own, though.  Since they have "come out" as a couple and married last year, they have grabbed every photo op known to man.  See LeAnn and Eddie on this beach!  See LeAnn and Eddie on that beach!  The girl owns enough bikinis to stitch a quilt for Shaq!  I actually feel a bit sorry for Eddie as she is always hanging on him and any PDA that you witness seems to be instigated by her.  You get the feeling that she is looking at the camera and thinking "See this hot man?  He's MINE and not YOURS"  Well, LeAnn, your bony ass can have him.  Good luck holding on to him. 

This brings me to perhaps the flakiest female celeb of them all, Miss Jennifer Love Hewitt.  I've lost track of how many engagements the chick has been through.  Last week yet another of her relationships ended at approximately the same time that Adam Levine found himself back on the market.  Love Hewitt told Ellen DeGeneres that she was up for a pairing with Levine, a stunt that all but screamed desperation.  Who does that?  She also 'fessed up to using plain old McCormick's vanilla extract to attract the opposite sex.  What?  We have all been plunking down the big bucks for Chanel No. 5, when all we need is $5.00 and a baking aisle?  My son had it right..."WTF?"

Meow.